There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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