How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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