why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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