I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
