i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
