i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We need to rekindle our bromance
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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