And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
