whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize