I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
