Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
