Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
from now on my penis is your penis
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
