Is it normal to miss your booty call?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
