who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
