she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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