He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize