I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She even gives head with a lisp.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
