Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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