i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
