I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
