How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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