Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
