My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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