I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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