I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize