feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
