i just had sex bonerless
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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