Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
