Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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