the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
