Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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