Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
