do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
