I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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