just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
