I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
