He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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