fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
