are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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