we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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