i think i have herpe
just one?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
