I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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