my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
