white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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