I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
