final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
