I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
