its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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