dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just want to make out with him forever
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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