no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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