She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
