Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
