...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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