porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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