dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
