I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
