apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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