Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
