final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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