No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
